Clarifications

Last night my mom's friend came over for dinner and during dessert we were talking about my various plans and schemes for while I'm here. My mom's friend was saying that it might not work so cleanly to leave after 1 year, that I might have to be more flexible. I agreed, but said that I'm sure it will work out somehow. At this point my mom looks at me and says that she won't be my something-in-Japanese. I assumed it meant that she wouldn't clean up my mess if I left one. But just to be sure, I asked what that phrase meant. She looked at me with her crazy eye and said, "CLEAN YOUR ASS." Once the meaning was clear, I was able to deduce that what she'd said literally translated as 'she won't be my butt wiper.'

Nice.