Skype+Parents must yeild equal parts hilarity and abject frustration. Like I love how we were troubleshooting with John's parents, on their maiden skype voyage trying to get audio and video to occur and they typed into their mood bubble thinking it was the chat window. John got them the webcam for mothers' day '09. When we log on to skype to this very day, the bubble next to his parents name says "You bought the damn thing!"
But this isn't mycrazynocalinlaws.blogspot.com
One day my mom gets a new Dell laptop with a built in webcam, which I'm excited about because I figure it means that my days of playing IT to my mom's skype are finished. So I call her and say let's skype. She turns on her computer and I see her log in to skype. I call, she answers and lo! My mom on the video! For a split second only, though, and then she is replaced by a very worried looking white Scottish-fold kitten with green eyes and human teeth. I stare at my screen in bemused amusement. Then, this kitten begins to move: the head tilts back and forth, its eyes look this way and that, its mouth moving without any words audible. Clearly this thing is trying to communicate with me. I call my mom on the phone and try to talk her through getting rid of the cat. But now I can hear her voice matched up with the motions of this worried cat and it's freaking HILARIOUS and I can barely focus on anything.But as amazing as this kitten-mom is, I need to try and fix the problem, which is hard because my mom doesn't know what she did plus her skype is in Japanese and I have no idea what any options might even be called. So I google 'turn off cat video skype' and what I learn is: this cat thing is called an avatar; it is specific to Dell computers; and that there are many forums where people are trying to find out how to turn off the cat avatar from their parents' skype.
I guess solidarity means something: my mom is no longer alone in this world and, just as importantly, neither am I.
We are going to Okinawa in November, so I bought a new swimsuit. I bought it on-line after a few discouraging attempts to find one in a store here. Japanese swim wear is either ugly or a billion dollars. Yen. Whatever. Luckily, an on-line store where I'd previously bought a swimsuit was having a sale. Since I knew my size, I went ahead and bought one. It is due to arrive any day now. My mom was shocked at my purchase; she conveyed this to me by remarking, "But, how can you buy one without even trying?" I explained that even using the internet takes a little effort, but of course that wasn't what she meant and I knew it. She's too fun to tease sometimes.
On Tuesday morning, my mom was multi-tasking, talking on the phone and surfing the net simultaneously. I learned later that she was trying to look up directions to a museum on the impossible-to-navigate Japanese internet. I don't know who they've all hired as their UI advisors, but they should all be killed. Or failing that, at least fired. I know that this entry took a harsh turn right away..... (hello dad....).
Anyway, something was evidently not going right, so she turned to me and wrote me a note on a piece of paper then pushed it toward me. It said, "map." I had no idea what that meant. I was completely confounded. So, I decided to confound her back, by using some of my recently acquired KY-style Japanese. Underneath her words I wrote, "I.W." (which, if you're too lazy to look at the link, means "Don't understand a thing"). But, unfazed, she continued chatting on the phone and turned back to the computer. She then typed the letters "I.W." on her key-board and waited patiently. Of course nothing happened, at which point she turned to me with a half-scowl, like I'd purposefully deceived her or something. It was around this time I was able to piece together what was actually going on. Once I did, you know I laughed like mad.
We all hate spam so when my mom created a new email account I advised her to use her old one for on-line purchases etc as an attempt to avoid future spam. Apparently she forgot to use the old address when she bought that sheet music recently, and so is receiving ads from that company at her new email. Not spam yet. Just junk mail. So, I told her that usually those kinds of emails are easy to stop. "Scroll down to the bottom, there will probably be something that says 'click to unsubscribe.' "
So, I watched her scroll and I watched her face as it inched closer and closer to the screen, searching, before turning back toward me with that blank expression. I knew something good was afoot. I waited. The blank expression continued and then finally, in that perplexed voice, she said, "Barbara?"
I have no idea but it was hilarious. I'm sure she scowled not that I could tell through my tears of joy. Then the cat meowed, and she said to him, "It's not funny, is it," but I think his meow was in solidarity with me. He knows. My mom believes cats have the mental capacity of a 10-year-old because she saw it on TV one time (I'm not sold), so I also know she knows he knows - it was hilarious.
This story begins a few days ago when we met in Shibuya; she was looking for some sheet music and a CD, I was blowing off steam with some retail therapy after a visit to the US embassy (not to worry; I am not being deported). I bought a delicious smelling oil which improved my mood a lot; my mom's endeavor was fruitless. But, the next day she proudly told me that she had bought the sheet music on-line. Apparently I wasn't satisfactorily amazed because she said it again. "I ordered it. On-line. By myself. With a credit card." I suppose it is a feat.
Anyway, I then asked her if she had looked for the recording she was looking for, but she hadn't. So I opened ye olde iTunes and searched for the Mozart piece wanted and lo and behold! if several don't pop up. She was interested in one of them, so we downloaded it - it was a "Masterpieces" compilation from Vanguard and coincidentally had 2 pieces she'd recorded with the Yale Quartet in 1968! She has the LP but thought she'd never listen to it again, so was super excited that it was on the collection. I told her I'd burn the CDs as soon as they were done downloading.
"Will it take 2 hours to burn?" she asked. I assured her it wouldn't be long. I think it took 10 minutes for the 2 CDs. "Where did you get 2 hours from, anyway?" I asked. "That's how long it would take to play the pieces, so..." was her answer.
Epilogue - She listened to the CDs and her eyes shined like a kid beholding a magic candy machine or something. "It's soooo amazing!" she said, "It sounds as good as if I'd bought the CD at the store!" I could attempt to explain to her what digital means, 0's and 1's, but why ruin the magic, right?
My mom's old student/IT man came over last night to finish setting up her new computer, transferring data and things. This morning, encountering a problem, we clicked 'restart' and waited. "It's taking so long to shut down," my mom commented, so a few seconds later I asked if it was still trying to shut down.
She replied, "It shut down and now it's trying to get it up."
I started laughing immediately, and she said, "It's not funny..." "It is," I insisted, tears welling up in my eyes. "Do you even know what that phrase is usually used for?!" "Yes."
A side story about her student (whom I call "The Professor" since he knows random facts about just about anything) is that last night my mom was telling him about my blog and he asked me what the URL was. As I said it, he typed it in to the computer. A moment later I got a blank stare from him and he said that it pulled up an error screen. What?! I thought, but as soon as I saw the address bar, it all made sense. Here is what it said: www.myclazytokyomother.blogspot.com. So close, and yet, so far...
When she said this, I had a sneaking suspicion she just meant her friend's computer, but then again this is Japan! Maybe her friend really had an e-mail machine. So giving my mom the benefit of the doubt I made some clarifying inquires.
She's catching up to me in her quickness, I must say. This morning she was using her new computer and I heard her making frustrated sounds; then she suddenly started laughing. Of course I had to know what it was all about.
"When I moved the mouse up on the table, it would go down on the screen and if I moved it down, it went up on the screen and I didn't know what the problem was, but I just figured it out: I was holding the mouse upside down."
Does life get any awesomer than this story? I submit that it does not.
My dad recently told me about this youtube video: It coincided with my mom's finally buying a new computer and now whenever she asks me (simple) tech questionsI can't help but think about this video and it makes me laugh. Then she gives me her patented 'Yoko scowl' to let me know she's not amused at my amusement. But I cannot help myself. I can't tell you how many times I've directed her to click 'okay' and she closes the window, then looks at me in surprise. Anyway, yesterday she called me down stairs because, as she told me, her email was all gone. She has a free yahoo online account so I knew right away that there was no chance it was 'gone' but went down to see what the problem was. "I clicked the 'yahoo' bookmark, and there's no mail!" she explained. I looked at the book mark she'd clicked. It was for yahoo's homepage, not the mail page. Admittedly Japanese websites are notoriously hard to navigate and so she couldn't find the link to yahoo's mail service. Anyway, I told her that she should just use the yahoo mail bookmark in the future. I had put it at the top of her bookmarks so it would be easy to find, but the person who was helping her set up her new computer had collapsed the folder with her usual bookmarks. So, I opened/uncollapsed it for her and showed her where it was. "Oh, so you have to do that first?" she reflected. I can't help but imagine her in a medieval monk costume and it makes me smile.
I stare at my screen in bemused amusement. Then, this kitten begins to move: the head tilts back and forth, its eyes look this way and that, its mouth moving without any words audible. Clearly this thing is trying to communicate with me. I call my mom on the phone and try to talk her through getting rid of the cat. But now I can hear her voice matched up with the motions of this worried cat and it's freaking HILARIOUS and I can barely focus on anything. But as amazing as this kitten-mom is, I need to try and fix the problem, which is hard because my mom doesn't know what she did plus her skype is in Japanese and I have no idea what any options might even be called. So I google 'turn off cat video skype' and what I learn is: this cat thing is called an avatar; it is specific to Dell computers; and that there are many forums where people are trying to find out how to turn off the cat avatar from their parents' skype.