Head of the Crass

It was a good way to start the day.

I went down for a quick bite before heading off to work this morning. As usual, my mom was already downstairs and was reading her email. I got my breakfast and sat down at the table, sipping coffee and trying to get ungroggy, when my mom turns to me and says, "Seizo's assistant."
I sat, eating, drinking, waiting for more, but nothing was forthcoming.
"You know that's not enough information," I told her.
"Well," she said, "I was gonna say 'fucked up' but I didn't think it was very nice."
It was a proverbial 'milk-out-my-nose' moment, though coffee and toast was decidedly more painful.

Event two happened just moments after this one, when the cat was whining and meowed his super high and lady like meow even though he's really an old-man kitty. "It's because he has no balls," my mom informed me, "Like the castrati, you know?" This I knew, but still it seems remarkable that his voice is so clear and high. To me, he'll always just be the Gramps, the Queen.